NEWS FLASH

FLEECED

A Cwm Bargoed farmer has been disqualified from a sheep-sheering competition, after he was discovered cheating.

Dai "smiley" Rees is accused of using pre-sheered sheep, which he allegedly re-fleeced using Velcro, super-glued to the sheep's skin.

Dai Rees
Rees
quot;Baaad Boy"

Then, all he had to do was remove the fleeces with a set of bladeless clippers, giving the appearance that he was actually sheering the sheep.

A competition judge said "We were none the wiser regarding the Velcro. It all looked very normal to us. We were ready to award Dai first prize - he looked so good!"

Rees may have got away with it, had his sheered sheep not been mistakenly mixed with some un-sheered sheep, belonging to another contestant.

The site of so many sheep stuck together, raised alarm bells with officials and Rees was disqualified shortly afterwards.

Rees now faces charges of animal cruelty, although the organisers of the competition are not pressing charges.

As for the sheep, vets were unable to separate them. As a result, they will be sold to a local butcher as part of a "Buy one - get one free" offer.

PRICK UP YOUR EARS

Cwm Bargoed "Trekkie" Dwayne Evans has made the ultimate sacrifice for his TV hero, by having plastic surgery on his ears.

Dwayne has had the tips of his ears extended and pointed, to look like his Vulcan idol Mr Spock, from the 60's Sci-Fi show Star Trek.

Apparently, Dwayne paid for the operation, by saving his pocket money for the last 36 years.

It is unclear as to what part of his body the extra tissue, needed to complete the operation, came from. However, it is assumed it would be an area with little chance of being used, or seen.

When asked what others thought of Dwayne's new look he said "Only my mother has seen them so far, but I am sure they will make a great conversation piece at a party - if I ever get invited to one."

Dwayne
Dwayne
"Life, but not as we know it"

Earlier claims that Dwayne's mother had also undergone surgery were discounted, when a neighbour stated that she had always looked like a Klingon.

UP IN SMOKE

For the last six months, pubs in Cwm Bargoed have taken part in a scheme to ban smoking.

Just like pubs in Ireland, Cwm Bargoed pubs have stopped customers from smoking on the premises, making them go outside if they want to light up a cigarette.

When asked what people thought of his non-smoking establishment, a local landlord said "I cannot speak for any customers, but the bailiffs that came here today said it was the sweetest smelling pub they had ever been in."

	NEWS FLASH
	FLEECED A Cwm Bargoed farmer has been disqualified from a sheep-sheering competition, after he was discovered cheating. Dai "smiley" Rees is accused of using pre-sheered sheep, which he allegedly re-fleeced using Velcro, super-glued to the sheep's skin. Rees quot;Baaad Boy" Then, all he had to do was remove the fleeces with a set of bladeless clippers, giving the appearance that he was actually sheering the sheep. A competition judge said "We were none the wiser regarding the Velcro. It all looked very normal to us. We were ready to award Dai first prize - he looked so good!" Rees may have got away with it, had his sheered sheep not been mistakenly mixed with some un-sheered sheep, belonging to another contestant.	The site of so many sheep stuck together, raised alarm bells with officials and Rees was disqualified shortly afterwards. Rees now faces charges of animal cruelty, although the organisers of the competition are not pressing charges. As for the sheep, vets were unable to separate them. As a result, they will be sold to a local butcher as part of a "Buy one - get one free" offer. PRICK UP YOUR EARS Cwm Bargoed "Trekkie" Dwayne Evans has made the ultimate sacrifice for his TV hero, by having plastic surgery on his ears. Dwayne has had the tips of his ears extended and pointed, to look like his Vulcan idol Mr Spock, from the 60's Sci-Fi show Star Trek. Apparently, Dwayne paid for the operation, by saving his pocket money for the last 36 years. It is unclear as to what part of his body the extra tissue, needed to complete the operation, came from. However, it is assumed it would be an area with little chance of being used, or seen.	When asked what others thought of Dwayne's new look he said "Only my mother has seen them so far, but I am sure they will make a great conversation piece at a party - if I ever get invited to one." Dwayne "Life, but not as we know it" Earlier claims that Dwayne's mother had also undergone surgery were discounted, when a neighbour stated that she had always looked like a Klingon. UP IN SMOKE For the last six months, pubs in Cwm Bargoed have taken part in a scheme to ban smoking. Just like pubs in Ireland, Cwm Bargoed pubs have stopped customers from smoking on the premises, making them go outside if they want to light up a cigarette. When asked what people thought of his non-smoking establishment, a local landlord said "I cannot speak for any customers, but the bailiffs that came here today said it was the sweetest smelling pub they had ever been in."