TEED OFF

I am just writing to say how appalled I am at your website. I really don't know why I bother reading it. Every issue seems to get worse and worse. 

It just isn't funny anymore. In fact, it never was funny. Laugh? I thought I'd never start!

PS: Do you do any merchandising? I would love a free tee-shirt. Sam Cadger

BIRDS EYE

Does anyone know if Gerri Halliwell is still thin, or has she put on weight again?

I have tickets to see her in concert, and I need to know how far from the stage I need to sit. S Sighted

EASTERN PROMISE

How do I go about claiming my money back from the Welsh Football Association?

I went down to ASDA by Sarn the other week, to see Wales play, and the buggers never turned up.
M Case

HOUNDED

How pleased I was to hear they had finally banned hunting with dogs.

Perhaps now I can catch rabbits, without my wife scarring them off. A Deadman

BITTER

Whilst watching the Rugby on Saturday, I saw thousands of Welshmen with "Brains" written across their chests.

Are there no laws against false advertising in Wales?
E Chaser

TIP OF THE WEEK

Men: Never say you prefer the reassurance of a thicker, more absorbent pad, unless everyone knows you are talking about cricket.